Explaining to a child where children come from. How to explain to a child correctly where children come from? How to tell your child where he came from: cartoon. How to tell a girl, daughter, where children come from

From a psychological point of view, the early interest of children in how they were born is completely normal and natural. But, unfortunately, many parents who did not receive the correct sex education in this regard in childhood, not only do not consider it necessary to answer children's questions, but also resent such curiosity. As a result, the child develops the first complexes and shame for the fact that he asked something wrong, which made the parents angry with him. However, modern parents are increasingly trying to instill in their children the understanding that conception and birth are completely healthy and natural processes, while educating them on this topic as carefully and accurately as possible.

Correct sex education helps prevent early teenage pregnancy and the development of an inferiority complex in the future teenager.

First of all, when explaining the birth of children, you do not need to lie and write stories about being in cabbage or generous storks - the child should receive an undistorted understanding of the issue. Otherwise, he can at least be laughed at by peers who have received a more accurate and truthful explanation. If parents cannot find the right words, it is better to entrust this delicate mission to a psychologist who will be able to convey the description of the process to the child without injuring his psyche with colorful descriptions or stupid epithets.

Correct explanation

If a child asks how he was born, there is no need to defiantly grab a bottle of Corvalol and tell him that he is still small for such sacred knowledge. Also, in no case should you shame a child for curiosity or laugh it off - after such "answers" children either consider sexual relations shameful or funny, or begin to study the issue on their own or with the help of strangers. Therefore, first of all, you need to remain completely calm, show adequate emotions and not translate the topic, since the child will still return to it - only without the participation of the parents.

If a child himself comes with a similar question, this means only one thing - he still fully trusts his parents, which is very important for his further growing up next to them.

It is very important to answer the child, given his age - for example, for children under the age of three, the short answer "are born" is often sufficient. Older children already show active curiosity in this regard, supported by a mass of questions, so such an answer is unlikely to satisfy them. First of all, it should be explained to them that mom and dad fell in love with each other, wanted a baby who grew up in mom's tummy for nine months, and then was born in a maternity hospital. If you wish, you can resort to specialized children's literature, where the conception and birth of children is presented in the form of simple and understandable pictures - however, it is advisable to avoid overly detailed anatomical illustrations.

How does a child appear?

Every child has heard many incredible variations on where children come from. Someone says that babies are brought by a stork, someone that a baby can be bought in a store or found in cabbage. There is something to get confused about. But all these stories are fiction. How children are born is described in this article.

Why do children appear

Both parents have seed cells in their bodies, which, when combined together, give rise to new life. Dad's seed is called a sperm, and mom's is called an egg. The sperm cell looks a bit like a tadpole and can move independently. During a love relationship (which is called sexual intercourse), daddy's seed gets into mom's tummy. There the egg is waiting for him. The sperm cell penetrates into the mother's seed and from the resulting cell - the zygote - the child begins to develop.

How a person is made from a seed

First of all, I must say that both the sperm and the egg on the mother's belly just do not walk. For their meeting and the subsequent development of the child, there are special bodies. So the mother's seed is quietly waiting for the meeting with the sperm in oviduct. It is a thin tube with cilia on the inner surface. The movement of these cilia, as it were, pushes the egg, and if it has already met with the sperm - the zygote, to the uterus. The uterus looks like a leather pouch in which the fetus will develop. This process is not fast and takes about 9 months. This is exactly how much a child needs to turn from a seed into a person.

Our mega-seed, the zygote, is first divided into two completely identical cells, each of these cells into two more. It turns out 4. From four cells 8, from 8 - 16 and so on. When there are enough cells, they begin to divide functions among themselves. From one group the ear is formed, from the other - the eye, from the third - the leg. This is how the little man is gradually formed.

After what event, the children appear from the mother's tummy

The process of giving birth to a child is called childbirth. The mother has a special opening in the lower abdomen, which is connected to the uterus by a tube. So that the baby does not "run away" ahead of time, between the uterus and this tube for the entire duration of pregnancy a mucus plug is formed. When it's time to give birth, this plug dissolves and the uterus begins to shrink. Mom helps her by straining her stomach. And by joint efforts, they push the baby out. If everything goes well, the child is born after a while.

The process of forming and giving birth to a child is much more interesting than any of the invented theories. You can learn about how children appear by watching a training video.

At the age of 3, the child reaches an inquisitive age. And the baby has a question: where do children come from? Don't be afraid of “uncomfortable” topics of conversation. The lack of an answer makes the child curious. They can tell him where the children come from, they can in kindergarten, school, or he himself will find the answer on the Internet.

Conversation with children of different ages

The child should know the truth about the birth. Whatever happens, as in that joke: “Mom, you yourself don't know anything about this! I will now tell you everything in detail ”- be honest with your children, learn to“ adapt ”the truth to any child's age.

3-5 years

Children's curiosity begins at the age of three. Children already understand what gender they belong to, notice the differences between boys and girls. Children's curiosity also affects the physiology of adults.

A child, seeing a pregnant woman, asks: "Why does my aunt have such a big belly?" Usually adults answer: "Because a baby lives in it." The child will be interested in how the baby got there and how it will be born. Don't describe the process from conception to childbirth. Explain that children are born of mutual love.

Tell us about how you dreamed of having a child. Children feel the mood of their parents. Let the story be like a true fairy tale. Your story will begin the journey to the next stage of the conversation about having a baby.

5-8 years old

The child's circle of interests is expanding. He needs sources of information, details, examples. It becomes important for the child to trust the parents. He must be sure that he is understood, listened to and heard, and that they tell the truth. If a child once doubted your words, he will think about whether you should be trusted. If the doubts were confirmed (the baby learned that he was "not from the cabbage," "from the stork," etc.) then, continuing to explore the world, he will turn to the TV or.

If you were ashamed (afraid, confused, etc.) to tell the truth, tell me now. Explain that the question about having babies caught you off guard. You admit your mistake and are ready to fix it. The child will understand and support you.

From the point of view of psychological development, children of this age learn new emotions and feelings. The concepts of "friendship" and "first love" appear. The child learns about love, trust, sympathy for another person.

Explain to your child that love is different and give an example of life situations. Children see what kind of relationship is between mom and dad. You need to explain to the child in time why you treat each other this way. Otherwise, the child will think of everything himself and consider the behavior to be the norm.

The theme of love can turn into a conversation about where children come from. If the child is interested, continue the story of love. Tell him that when people love each other, they spend time together, kissing and hugging. And if they want to have a child, the woman gets pregnant. There is no need to talk about childbirth. Tell them that there is such a place - a maternity hospital, where doctors help a baby to be born.

Support the story of trust with examples (it's good if they come from your relationship with your child). Explain that trust is hard to earn and easy to lose.

Sympathy develops into friendship or love. A friend is a person who will support in difficult times and keep company in happy hours.

8-10 years old

Children already know about love, friendship, sympathy and trust. The child will soon become a teenager. Your task is to prepare your child for the changes that will begin to happen to him. Tell the girl about menstruation, hygiene on “these days” (show pictures and explain in detail). Tell us about the changes in the figure, breast growth. Prepare it for the appearance of hairs in intimate places and armpits. Explain that there is nothing wrong with that: hygiene and grooming will eliminate "little troubles."

Do not dismiss the child with an encyclopedia. Read together, discuss material and pictures. The topic of puberty will lead you to the topic of sex. Explaining to a child where children come from is free and accessible.

Feel free to talk to your child about sex. Explain that sex is normal for adults. It is important not to form a ban on sex in a teenager. Make it clear that intimate relationships are only available to adults. Say that the relationship is not public. Intimate life is a personal matter for every person.

When talking to children between the ages of 4 and 11, always mention that only adult men and women make love. Therefore, if suddenly one of the adults invites him to undress, touch intimate places - you need to run, shout and call for help. And be sure to tell your parents about it.

11-16 years old

There is one instructive anecdote: the father decided to talk to his son about intimate relationships and he himself learned a lot of new things.

Don't let your teenage child go by themselves. Take an interest in his life. Teenagers show interest in the opposite sex. Get the first experience of "serious" relationship. You must explain about the methods of contraception, about possible infections from unprotected intercourse. Tell us about conceiving a child, pregnancy, starting a family.

Teenagers are physiologically ready to lead an "adult" lifestyle, but they are still children. They are controlled by hormones, not common sense.

If, when trying to talk to your child about serious topics of sex education, you receive a refusal, tantrum and slamming doors in response, then calm down. Reaction means that the child is not "in the spirit", not in the mood for a conversation. Try to talk to him later, ask how you are doing.

You don't have to attack children right away with boring standard lectures about adult life. Talk to your teen on his “wave”. Communicate as equals: adult conversation is for adults. The simpler and easier the conversation, the better it will be perceived. Do not want to have children early - protect yourself; if you do not want dangerous consequences for your health, do not hang out with just anyone and protect yourself.

• A teenager should understand that a child is a responsibility.
• They approach the creation of a family and raising children consciously.
• Don't threaten your child. Do not say that you will throw him out of the house, if you find out, you will beat him, etc., in such ways you will only alienate him.
• If a teenager shares problems, personal experiences, do not criticize, but encourage and give advice.

For a small child, parents know and can do everything. Therefore, with all the questions he goes, of course, to them. And this is very good, try to keep it this way forever. So with the question of his birth, the child goes to his parents. A simple child's question can puzzle parents. How to explain to a kid where children come from?

No taboos

The first thing to do is to remove the taboo from the topic. This is what child psychologists advise. The child has the right to ask such tricky questions. In some families, parents shy away from answering or strictly forbid talking about these topics. The child is forced to seek answers to his questions from others.

The baby begins to notice the differences between the sexes at about three years old. He becomes interested in the difference between boys and girls, uncles and aunts. At this age, the child may be interested in the question of having children, he begins to pester with "uncomfortable" questions to the parents, and you will be faced with the problem of how to tell the baby where children come from.

How to tell your child where babies come from

It is necessary to talk about the differences between the sexes, about the conception and birth of a child in a language accessible to the child, without overloading him with unnecessary details.

For a kid under five years old, the answer is enough that the child is growing in the mother's tummy.

As they get older, the child, of course, will be interested in how mysteriously he ended up in his mother's tummy. Now you can tell that dad gives mom a seed from which a child grows.

The answers must be clear to the child and truthful. Prepare in advance for this conversation.

Now on sale there are picture books in which they tell the child in an accessible and understandable form how children appear. If you can't find the words and answer your child's questions, then buy such a book. Be sure to read it with your child so that you can clearly answer all the questions.

By adolescence, the child should know the anatomical and physiological characteristics of the gender difference and the birth of children.

7 mistakes to avoid

1. Refusal to answer.

Even if the baby's questions confuse you, you should not avoid answering. Take time out, think over your explanations, consult with a psychologist, or get a related children's encyclopedia. The child should not feel guilty and left alone with his questions. His curiosity is completely natural and connected with development, the need to know the world and himself in this world.

You should not throw a child with scientific terms and imagine the whole process as purely mechanical. In medical reference books there is not a word about feelings, desires, emotions, pleasure. Children do not at all expect such exhaustive, dry and complex explanations from you. The child needs to get an answer in a simple and accessible form, formulated especially for him, to hear your words, and not an impersonal text.

3. The child is educated by the parent of the opposite sex.

When a child asks questions about sexuality, it is best to be answered by a parent of the same gender. If this is not possible, it may be a confidant of his gender.

Why? When a child begins to become aware of his gender, then, as a rule, girls identify with their mother, and boys with their father. This mechanism helps children in the future to correctly position themselves in society as a man or a woman. And it will be much more convenient for a child, especially when he gets older, to address intimate questions to a parent of the same sex.

4. Do not explain anything if the child does not ask questions.

A child may not talk about a sexual topic, not because he is not interested. On the contrary, his interest may be too strong and disturbing, he may experience embarrassment, which prevents him from asking questions that are of concern to him.

Often a child does not ask questions when adults feel reluctant to talk to him about such serious topics. It is important to remember that a child of 3-5 years old needs to be talked to about life, love and death.

5. Forcing events.

It is undesirable to tell the child that he is not yet ready to perceive and understand. Before two years old, you do not need to start talking about your sex life. This is the age for other questions, because the child is just beginning to navigate the world and human relationships.

6. To touch on too complex and serious topics.

Talking about the birth of a child, you should not describe the details and talk about the pain and difficulties associated with childbirth. There is no need to explain to the child what a cesarean section is. Also, you do not need to delve into what is associated with intercourse: erection, posture, etc. It will be enough for your child to know that he was born because mom and dad fell in love with each other, and that the doctor helped mom during childbirth.

7. Avoiding topics of sexual violence.

It is absolutely necessary to warn the child about possible dangers, of course, without scary details and intimidation. The child should be aware that one cannot go anywhere with strangers, even if they are affectionate with him and offer sweets. It is imperative to tell the baby that his body belongs only to him and no one has the right to touch him.

Tell your child that if someone touched him, it should not be a secret, you should definitely tell your parents about it.

Remember that the child must come to you with all questions and if you forbid him or not answer, he will lose confidence in you. The main thing is not to be afraid of such "difficult questions".

Video materials on the topic of the article

A funny cartoon on this difficult topic:

Psychologists' advice on how to have this conversation with your child:

How to talk to your child about children:

The time comes when the child begins to wonder where he came from, his little brother or sister. Parents prefer not to answer such a delicate question at all, or to “dismiss” the most popular phrases: “found in cabbage,” “a stork brought you to us,” “you are not yet mature enough”. Modern psychologists are sure that the untruth told by parents about the birth of babies is one of the reasons for the development of a child's distrust of their parents.

How to correctly explain to a child 3-6 years old, 6-10 years old and older, where children come from - advice from psychologists and experienced parents

If a child is interested in the question of how children are born, then he will not back down until he receives an answer. And he needs to answer the truth, presented taking into account his age. Otherwise, he will still get to the bottom of the truth, but he will learn it from other sources that will not be as scrupulous in such a matter as parents.

Explanation options for children 3-6 years old

Children 3-6 years old need to be told the truth, but not reveal all the details. You can tell how dad and mom met each other, how they fell in love, and then got married. Mom got pregnant, the baby lived for nine months in her tummy, and then was born.

At this stage, it is not necessary to explain all the little things, because the child is not ready for them. But a truthful answer will already help to establish a trusting relationship between the child and his parents, with whom he can always discuss any issue.

Teacher A. Sobolev:

Talk to your child about sex in a language appropriate for his age. At 3, 4 or 5 years old, when asked where the children come from, you can safely answer: “From my mother’s tummy. The kids are safe and warm there, they grow up under the mother's heart. " For the little ones, this will be enough.

To the question "How is a child born?" - Answer: "The mother has a special hole in the lower abdomen, through it, with the help of the doctor, the baby gets out into the light." - "I want to see!" - says the child. “This is impossible. Everyone has special places on their bodies that should not be shown to anyone. " By the way, it would be nice to ask right away if he knows exactly what these places are.

The next question: "How does the baby get into the mother's stomach?" This is usually asked by older children. Answer: “A seed appears in the mother's tummy, from which the baby grows. When mom and dad sleep together, they hug, and the seed from dad goes to mom. "

At the age of 10-11, you can already explain exactly how this happens: “When mom and dad want to have a baby, because they love each other, they gently hug and kiss before falling asleep, and then the seed from daddy's penis through the hole at the bottom of my mother's abdomen, it gets inside her body. This is how a new life is born. "

Psychologist M. Khors:

I believe that it is most correct to introduce such information into a child's life gradually. But at the same time, in no case should you lie to your children. Even if you think that it is inappropriate to tell the truth on this issue, there is a possibility of not telling the whole truth at once!

In the sex education of my children, I adhere to the following scheme:

1. When at 3-4 years old daughters began to ask questions about their own origin, I said that children are born, if dad and mom love each other - it's all honest, because about sex they often say: “Let's make love”.
2. A couple of years later, I added information about the fact that for the birth of children you need to not only love each other, but also kiss, then a baby appears in the mother's stomach - again no lies, indeed during sex they often kiss.
3. Today (at the age of 8 and 10) my daughters know that for the appearance of children, a man and a woman must sleep embracing in the same bed, kiss, love each other and really want a child - everything is true.
4. The next message is that hugs in bed bring pleasure and joy to all participants in the process.

With this approach, it will be much easier for me to give them the final tranche of information. And it won't be a shock to them.

Psychologist Oksana Yamashkina:

The most important thing here is to relax and understand that this is an absolutely normal question. Do not be shy, you must tell the truth and not come up with stories about cabbage and storks, otherwise, having learned the truth from others, your child will stop trusting you. It is not necessary to describe the process step by step, suffice it to say that it grows "in the mother's tummy" as a result of the parents' love. If you are embarrassed, videos and photos on the Internet will come to your rescue. They will clearly explain to the child how he was born. Don't be afraid to show them.

Irina, mother of a four-year-old daughter:

My daughter is 4 years and 3 months old, she asked where she came from. I answered her from my mother's tummy. At first, this answer suited her, but just yesterday she asked, where did I come from in my tummy. I answered - from dad.

Natalia, mother of 2 children:

The first time Tanya asked about 3-4 years old. I said that dad and mom sleep together under the same blanket, and dad loves mom so much that a baby settles in her stomach. Then he is born (here it is important to say that he is born, at this age the question HOW simply does not arise. Simply because he is still unknown and is not typical for this age). But Tanya asked another question, or rather sarcastically remarked: "Something you and dad are sleeping and sleeping together, but no one is born to you anymore!"

The second time was literally a week and a half ago ... I'm sitting at the computer, already turning it off. Tanya removes pencils on her couch. Dad is already under the covers. We are going to sleep. And here:
- Mom, how does a child get out of the stomach?
I already started to hiccup. I looked, Andrei pressed himself into the pillow ... That is, we decided not to find out the question "how does he get there" ... The girl immediately got down to the point. I say:
-What do you think?
-I think it's through the belly. Maybe through the navel?
-Well, in someone's stomach, - I say.
Then Tanya makes a satisfied face and says:
- I knew it!

All. Curiosity satisfied. There is no need to run ahead of the locomotive and give details. You just need to answer the questions as truthfully as possible. Since I am not going to tell my daughter about any storks, and I also don’t want to plant any cabbage in the garden, a little later I will definitely show her the book “Grow Healthy” by Robert Rotenberg, where there is everything about a person, about health, about conception and birth. I just thought that I couldn't tell Tanya about the birth process. She'll just get scared. A girl at 5 years old does not need to know this.

How to answer a child 6-10 years old?

Nowadays, special educational literature is published, adapted for primary school age (6-10 years). It is these books or special children's encyclopedias that are worth reading and watching with your child.

Neuropsychologist A. Ishina:

Let's assume that your child is already 6 years old, and he has not asked you questions about sex yet and you have not observed any interest in this problem. Maybe then you shouldn't touch on this slippery topic, believing that before the wedding he will be most of all interested in cartoons and a collection of candy wrappers from gum? After all, there will be anatomy lessons in school ... But your child has 8 years of study before anatomy. And over the years, his peers will tell him this ... And then the lesson is the lesson: this is just a statement of any knowledge in a scientific language. And who will tell your child about love, tenderness, elevation of feelings? Who will explain that, unlike animals, people are guided in intimate relationships not by instinct, but by feelings? Therefore, at the age of 6, you need to provoke a conversation on this topic yourself. How? This is purely your creativity, for example, this option:

“It's so good that Dima and Sveta are finally married! They love each other so much. Soon Sveta will grow a belly, and then a little son or daughter will appear from there. Isn't that great? " Then the conversation will flow by itself, and you will gently push the child to a topic that will sooner or later interest him, as well as identify and correct his knowledge on this issue.

Child psychologist, psychoanalyst N.V. Bogdanov:

The story could be like this: “When a man and a woman love each other, they decide to live together. They have a common home, which they equip, create coziness. Soon they begin to think about a child. You already know that a man and a woman are constructed differently and they have organs called sex organs. They serve so that mom and dad can have a child. When a man and a woman love each other, they kiss and caress each other. They like it very much, it is pleasant. They want to conceive a child, a liquid emanates from dad's penis, in which there are many tiny, mobile "tadpoles" - spermatozoa. This fluid goes into the vagina (mom's little crack). In my mother's uterus, a small sac with thick walls, there is a round "cell" - an egg. When one of the little "tadpoles" meets the "cell" of the mother, they merge, a very small baby appears from them, which grows in the mother's stomach for nine months. He is comfortable and safe there. When the child is ready to be born, he comes out through a crack in his mother's body, which at this time becomes wider so that he can pass through it. "

Psychologist Victoria Zinevich:

What to say? The plan is clear. Prepare your speech in advance. We start telling the baby that there must be a dad and mom, they must be very happy, and if so, dad gives mommy his seeds in the tummy. Mom's tummy has already prepared its seeds, and when these two seeds meet and become friends, then cells are built further in the mother's womb like from Lego. And when the right time comes, the mother goes to the doctor and the child goes outside. Well, it's at least true, or some part of it.

The child should learn about the physiological characteristics of a man and a woman, about how the relationship between the sexes develops. You need to talk about sex, methods of contraception, as well as sexually transmitted diseases. This topic is present in textbooks of anatomy, but often teachers either avoid it or give it for independent study.

What should you say to a teenager?

A teenage child should be told not only about the positive aspects of intimate life, but about the negative ones. Do not forget about the responsibility that a person assumes when starting an intimate life. Early sexual activity can lead to depletion of a young body and infertility. In addition, it can lead to early unwanted pregnancy, as a consequence - early abortion and infertility.

The child needs to be vaccinated related to the relationship between a man and a woman, to tell what the change of sexual partners can lead to, and also to talk about the sacredness of marriage, the birth of children in marriage, about planning your family.

You also need to talk to your child about his sexual health. This term hides not only a concern to protect oneself from various diseases, but also instilling the correct respectful approach to sexual relations. Boys need to cultivate a respectful attitude towards girls and her wants and needs. Girls need to instill a correct understanding of family and motherhood. The key is to make it clear that sexual health is directly related to sexual culture.

7 mistakes when answering the question where babies come from

1. Refuse to answer if the child asks questions of an intimate nature. If the child embarrassed and took you by surprise with such a question, it is better to tell him that you will answer him later. And during the timeout, you can prepare for a conversation with your child, consult with psychologists, more experienced parents, and purchase special children's literature. You cannot let the child understand that you are leaving him alone with his unresolved issues, giving him the right to independently search for information that may be presented in the wrong key.
2. Answer the question by citing an article from the medical encyclopedia. It is not necessary to form in the child the idea of \u200b\u200bthe beginning of a new life as a mechanical process. In such books, they never give an idea of \u200b\u200bfeelings, emotions, do not give the idea that a child is the fruit of a man and a woman's love for each other. The child wants to hear not dry, but precise explanations, but to receive an answer formulated specifically for him, focused on his age.
3. The parent of the opposite sex answers the question to the child. If the child is interested in issues of sexual life, it is better if they are discussed with a parent of the same sex. The father should have an intimate conversation with the boy, and the mother with the girl. This contributes to the further correct positioning of oneself in society as a woman and a man. Older children find it much easier and more comfortable to talk about such topics with a parent of the same gender.
4. Don't touch on sexuality education unless the child is asking questions. A child may not turn to his parents with questions of an intimate nature, not because he is not interested in this topic, but simply because he experiences anxiety, which prevents him from asking questions that interest him. Parents should know that they need to talk with a 3-5 year old child about life, love and even death.
5. Rush ahead of time to talk to your child about sex education. There is no need to tell the child about what he does not yet understand and does not perceive. Until two years, this topic can not be touched at all. At this age, the child takes only the first steps in understanding the world and human relations.
6. To touch on too complex topics. For example, when telling a girl about the birth of a child, it is not worth mentioning the difficulties that may be during pregnancy, pain during natural childbirth and during cesarean section. There is no need to delve into the theory of intercourse.
7. Avoid topics related to sexual violence. The child should be aware of the possible dangers, but there is no need to intimidate or frighten him. The main thing is to warn him not to go anywhere with strangers. And he didn't let anyone touch him. If this happens, for example, at any training session, it is necessary to inform the parents about it.